Ways Diane Keaton Personally Misled Me About Grownup Life

These are not direct quotes but they may as well be.
  1. "When you move to New York, bring some plants to decorate the spacious personal balcony that comes standard with every apartment."
  2. "You can make curly hair and straight bangs work. It's barely any maintenance."
  3. "Yes, having it all is a struggle but of course you and the baby will still look chic every day."
    I am going through this now and unfortunately my everyday look is more "Marvin's Room Keaton." :(
  4. "If you want a robust family energy you really need to have four kids. Don't worry, you'll still be able to afford an average home."
  5. "By the way, this is an average home."
  6. "When you're older, you will put on something like this and smoke a cigar and look like a highly attractive badass."
    I would look like a fat little Italian boy on his baptism day.
  7. You can get unexpectedly pregnant at ~40+ yrs old and still look consistently adorable
    Suggested by   @hate_my_selfie