The shallow kind none of this wealth of spirit junk
  1. You never google something "+ promo code"
  2. When you send someone flowers you just say what flowers you want and don't discuss budget. You say "it should look substantial"
  3. You really do throw out your mascara every six months like they say to do
  4. You have a classy answer for everything in the Vanity Fair My Stuff questionnaire
  5. You fly first class and don't make smug eye contact with the coachbound losers as they board. You're busy knowing what to do with the warm towel
  6. It makes you laugh so hard how bad you are at blackjack
  7. When you hear people talking about reality TV exploiting the poor you assume they're discussing the brew dogs from the esquire network