THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE YOUNG ME ASHAMED OF OLDER ME

  1. I eat vegetables voluntarily
  2. I read books voluntarily
  3. I'm not a teacher or a pop star OR a mom
  4. I lost this stylish backpack that would have allowed me to always look like Barney is hugging me
  5. I don't live in Australia and my last name isn't Efron
  6. I let my Halloween "bride" costume streak slip