DRAMA THAT HAPPENED IN ONE PARTICULAR SPOT TO MY IMMEDIATE RIGHT AT LAST NIGHT'S NICKI MINAJ CONCERT

It was like we were on some vortex ley line of aggro. Crowd nonsense didn't matter in the end though. She was FLAWLESS.
  1. A full on shoving match right when Nicki takes the stage and there's that initial crowd surge forward.
    Vicious teenagers screaming. VICIOUS. TERRIFYING.
  2. A dude spends the first two songs turned away from the stage with an elbow jammed into my ribs noisily hitting on some teenager who is not into it & also OBVS THERE FOR THE CONCERT, NOT YOUR CRAPPY LINES DUDE. AS ARE WE. Worse than someone singing along poorly is someone's weak game in your ear.
    This culminated in: "So what's your excuse for not kissing me?" and her replying "You're too old." He said he was 19. I doubt it. Luckily he got the hint after that and vanished. I was about ready to step in but I fear I lack the physical authority to ask "Is this guy giving you a hard time?" and tell guys to leave uninterested women alone.
  3. A tiny, hammered 50-year-old woman absolutely humping, wildly, the male concertgoers (including the vicious teenagers!) around me during Anaconda.
    Packages were grabbed.
  4. An eight-way tug of war for a t-shirt thrown from the stage.
    It lasted about three songs. It was like terrier puppies with a chew toy and a miniscule Hands on a Hard Body at once.
  5. A cloud of general male harrumphing when Nicki said "Ladies, don't EVER rely on a man for ANYTHING."
    #maletears