THE ART OF AVOIDANCE / MY EXCERCISE ROUTINE

  1. Skip over the specifics
    This is just a warm up. Use your legs, get your heart pumping.
  2. Dance around the subject
    We're really cooking now. Cardio for the perennially anxious!
  3. Let the details escape you
    ...and then chase them down! You got this.
  4. Dodge questions
    Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and don't respond to anyone's text messages. You should feel a burning sensation in your chest (because you are having a panic attack)
  5. Lay low
    Time to bring the heart rate way WAY down. Mimic your internal state by doing a little shavasana (aka the corpse pose) because you are dying inside.
  6. Take it to your grave
    The ultimate evasion! After burning 3,000 calories and successfully avoiding your problems, feel free to wind down and go for the big sleep. You've earned it.