Why I'll never truly follow my passions...
  1. Big Sister
    Static
    I'd basically like to live out the plot of Role Models.
  2. Pro Surfer
    So I can Blue Crush the crap out of the surfboard in my garage from high school thats seen more dust bunnies than salt water.
  3. TV and/or Food Critic
    How the eff do people get these jobs? I have 29 years of experience in both subjects. You'd think that counts for something.
  4. Pro golfer
    Because it's not enough to feel frustrated as hell in my leisure time, I need to make it my livelihood.
  5. President.
    Psych. I'd be down for secret service though.