Last June

  1. I looked for a photo of us to post on your birthday.
  2. I texted you for what would be the last time, laughing about how silly we were as freshmen.
  3. I sobbed on the phone to my mom unable to get the words out.
  4. I messaged your mom and husband with words that didn't seem enough.
  5. I held in the words 'my best friend died' every time I opened my mouth to speak.
  6. I drove 22 hours from Texas to Utah to attend your funeral.
  7. I cried in the shower, while driving, when I went to bed, when I woke up.
  8. I took long drives at night listening to Kanye West's Waves over and over.
  9. I wore big sweaters even though it was over 90 degrees outside.
  10. I watched hours of Pretty Little Liars knowing you would have scoffed at how ridiculous it was.
  11. I looked through pictures and notes afraid that I would forget.
  12. I missed you, every day in every way.