Date Me and I'll Never Ask You To

  1. Hold my purse
    That's what the floor/hook on the stall/ my arms are for.
  2. Kill spiders
    Unless you want to. I'm content with my stun-them-hairspray-first method.
  3. Wear matching costumes
    I ain't doing the creative heavy-lifting for both of us.
  4. Put the seat down
    I can spare 3 seconds to do it myself.
  5. Tag me as your #wcw
    I like you, you like me, the Internet can let it be.
  6. Go to my friends' birthday parties
    We don't have to travel as a unit.