SERIES OF EVENTS IN THE STEAK & SHAKE BATHROOM
Set up: Thing 1 is my 4 year old son. Thing 2 is my 1 year old son. I am sorry in advance if you find this in 15 years.
- 1.Be on solo parent duty for a weekend while husband is away.
- 2.Let the kids have a fun thing by going to Steak and Shake for lunch.
- 3.Encourage Thing 1 to finish his water. (3.1. Regret this later)
- 4.Have to wait about 3643 minutes to pay the check.
- 5.Thing 1 nows needs to pee and absolutely cannot hold it for the 7 minutes to get home.
- 6.Take Thing 1 to bathroom. Remember you are on solo duty, so are also carrying Thing 2, as he walks sometimes maybe. (6.1. Regret not baby wearing Thing 2)
- 7.Realize S&S has *just* mopped the restroom floor.
- 8.Slide into stall, pull Thing 1 onto seat with one arm while holding Thing 2.
- 9.Attempt to keep Thing 2 from diving out of your arms to explore the bathroom floor. Because...bathroom floor.
- 10.Look away for .25 seconds to hang up diaper bag (remember you're carrying that too)
- 11.Have Thing 1 finish and forget he is high up, so he leaps down onto impossibly slick floor.
- 12.Thing 1 falls. Face first. And pants around ankles. Onto bathroom floor.
- 13.Clean and comfort Thing 1 while balancing Thing 2 on half a knee.
- 14.Extra hand washes for everyone!
- 15.Depart bathroom. Make no eye contact. Pray none saw the events of this day.
- 16.Get everyone in car. Laughcry some.
- 17.Look up the location of the next closest Steak and Shake because you can never return.