Lessons in Online Dating
After 16 first-dates over the course of a year...
- •An asshole is an asshole.You can try to give them the benefit of the doubt but it's going to be a waste of time.
- •Texting is a game.And it's one that I refuse to play. Just be genuine. It's so much more attractive.
- •Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world.If you have the thought, 'I'd rather be alone watching The Office than sitting across from this guy who keeps trying to touch me,' then just go home. Save both of your evenings.
- •Getting ready is for you.Not one person I went out with seemed to care how I looked. I got ready in a way that made me feel comfortable and pretty - they didn't notice but I felt okay about it anyway, although, I wouldn't have minded if someone else thought I looked pretty for once.
- •Be honest about what you're looking for.Is it just sex? Is it an actual relationship? Are you unsure? Just be honest about what you're looking for - even if you don't know, honesty is appreciated. No one is wrong, it's just about whether or not you're on the same page. Sometimes, we're just reading from different books.
- •Sex.It's going to come up. A lot. My rule is simple: how will I feel in the morning? If it's not great or you don't know, then don't do anything (even if that choice sucks sometimes).
- •Kiss me...oh, actually...A good kiss - a really good, ahhh! kind of kiss - is one I'm still hoping to find. For now, it eludes me. Kiss me like you mean it, damn it!
- •Open relationships.I'm not cut out for them - even if I really like you, I just can't do it. I'm more traditional and jealous than other people seem to be.
- •I'm not good at dating.It's disappointing. I don't find it fun. Maybe I'm expecting too much from people? Maybe it's me? Maybe it's just awful? Maybe I'm too good at being single? It's probably me.
- •No one dates.Casual hook-ups seem to be the norm. I seem to attract those guys. The other guys, the ones looking for more, are not interested. Haha life is fun.
- •Everyone has an opinion.This is just mine - right now. It could totally change tomorrow. I'm open to having my walls torn down and that kiss that makes me forget what I was ever concerned about and to feel that someone else sees me for who I am and doesn't run away from it but actually comes closer for some reason that I will never understand. I want to be vulnerable but there's also nothing scarier. I have a lot to give another person...and I'm being super cheesy but I'm okay with that. I mean it.