REALLY FORCED PORTMANTEAUX THAT DIDN'T CATCH ON

There are times when one big word can more effectively do the job of two words. These are not those times. (For @kavutskiy .)
  1. Scandiknavery (Scandinavian + Knavery)
    Deceit or trickery by Scandinavians. (Coined by James Joyce)
  2. Blunch (breakfast + lunch)
    A mid-morning combination meal, but one you eat closer to lunch.
  3. Balloonatic (balloon + lunatic)
    A person who is balloon-mad; a balloon enthusiast. (WWI use)
  4. Psychedelicatessen (psychedelic + delicatessen)
    A shop selling psychedelic articles.
  5. Locorestive (locomotive + restive)
    Inclined to remain in one place.
  6. Saccharhinoceros (saccharine + rhinoceros)
    A lumbering person with an excessively effusive or affectedly sentimental manner.
  7. Crilk (cream + milk)
    You get it.
  8. Alcoholiday (alcohol + holiday)
    Leisure time spent drinking. (This word appeared in a 1913 New York Times story. This one we might want to bring back.)