The Facebook Memories Feature Is Horrible/wonderful

Alternatively titled: WHY DO I LOOK AT THIS CRAP WHEN I'M NOT EMOTIONALLY READY?
  1. This was the photo memory FB showed me today.
    Me and my father, from Dec 24, 2013.
  2. The photo was taken in his nursing home, during a Christmas dinner for the residents.
  3. That was my last Christmas with Dad.
  4. I both love and hate that picture.
    I love it because I think it's the last photo of us together, but I hate it because that's not my dad. I mean, it is, but by then -- in full blown dementia and having lost 55 pounds in 9 months and that fucking nursing home shaved his beard without our permission -- it wasn't really him anymore.
  5. This is the dad I know, the one who comes to me in dreams now.
    Dad died of a massive stroke on February 27, 2014. I'm still devastated, but I'm doing a little better each month that passes.
  6. Merry Christmas, Dad. I miss you.