HOW TO LOSE CHECKED LUGGAGE IN 11 FOOLPROOF STEPS!!!

So fun. Highly recommended.
  1. 1.
    Check luggage
  2. 2.
    Go through security
  3. 3.
    Throw up at gate
  4. 4.
    Decide flying maybe not a good idea
  5. 5.
    Ask gate attendant to make sure your luggage doesn't get loaded to plane
  6. 6.
    Wait for attendant to deliver luggage at check-in desk as instructed
  7. 7.
    Watch all attendants for airline magically vanish from check-in desk
  8. 8.
    Get in car home because you're about to throw up again and would rather risk throwing up in a Lyft than in the international terminal of SFO
  9. 9.
    Call 5 different lost bag numbers and be told effectively nothing 5 times
  10. 10.
    Throw up again
  11. 11.
    Wait