LEAST COMFORTING THINGS A PROFESSIONAL SAID TO ME DURING MY HOSPITALIZATION
I've been in the hospital since Monday with blood clots after essentially collapsing at work. They took really good care of me, and I love them all. But something about my demeanor makes people tell me just a little too much sometimes.
- •I'm calling 911. You're green.Not a medical professional, but my coworker. Actually the "calling 911" part was pretty comforting.
- •We can't let them put you in the waiting room. You'll pass out in the chair.The EMT who brought me into the ER. My BP was 70/30 when they first got to me, so he was advocating for me to get a bed ASAP.
- •Huh. We don't usually see that kind of swollen leg with back pain. How interesting.The doc I first saw in the ER. I had had pain in my lower back and leg all day, which I thought was sciatica until my leg swelled up and turned blue.
- •Wow. You're the calmest person I've ever seen who has just been told they had a blood clot.Nurse in the ER, right after I was told I had a blood clot. My response: Should I be freaking out?!?
- •So the question is why this happened. I don't think we need to go looking for cancer, necessarily...The doctor who admitted me from the ER to the hospital. Wait, what?!? Life threatening pulmonary embolism is not enough, now I gotta think about the big C?
- •oh, good thing you're here. Clots in the lungs can be very dangerous.Almost everyone. Yeah, no kidding.
- •One time, we were operating on this lady, and we had to simultaneously do CPR and try to drain fluid from her pericardium ...Nurse who was taking my vitals while I was having an ultrasound of my heart done. Not time for war stories, my friend.
- •Oh, your veins are really small.Every single person who had to place an IV/draw blood. Which was like 20 people. I know. I can't help it. I am hydrated AF, and they are still tiny. What do you want me to do about it?
- •Mary, tell them why you can't sit up.The nurse anesthetist after the procedure putting the catheter in my leg. Nobody told me I couldn't sit up. They told me I would have to keep my leg straight, which I thought meant my knee. Turns out it meant my hip, too, but no one told me that. This made me cry. (My general reaction to sedation/anesthetic). To be fair to her, I think she was worried that I had forgotten what just happened. Little does she know I am a compulsive rule follower who would never sit up if I wasn't supposed to.