1. I was supposed to fly to LA and back today.
  2. I woke up at 3 AM and felt, for various reasons, totally unable to do that.
  3. So I eventually decided not to, reset my alarm, read for half an hour, and went back to sleep.
  4. Got my kids ready for school, and got back in bed.
  5. Almost immediately got a text from a coworker that started with "emergency."
  6. Our office had been broken into.
  7. I texted back that I'd be there in 15 minutes, got up, got dressed, left home.
  8. The break-in resulted in petty vandalism, mostly.
  9. No computers taken. Nothing of apparent value gone.
  10. But stuff like this
    A box of frozen trader joe's macaroni, placed on a desk.
  11. And this
    Ice cream on the shelves?!?
  12. And they used one of the computers to print off several pages of this
  13. Search history shows that after that, they looked at Office Depot. The prevailing theory is that they checked how much our computers are worth.
    And chose to leave them untouched.
  14. The lesson learned here is: if you don't have nice things, no one will steal them.
    They'll just look up porny pics and eat your ice cream.