WARNING: These seem made up but they are all 100 percent real and were said with 100 percent sincerity
  1. "I've been off the grid for a week because I had an allergic reaction to mangoes"
    MANGOES
  2. "I'm in bed" *posts picture from club on Instagram*
  3. "I'd ask you to come but my publicist couldn't get enough tickets"
    The most LA of all best worst excuses
  4. "You should understand..Jack Kerouac hated relationships!"
    Actually have a soft spot in my heart for this one
  5. "I only followed her to be nice!"
  6. "I like men"
    @patrickrogers THE NERVE