A Not So Cool Thing Happened Today

  1. 1.
    I took my hand off the steering wheel and placed it on my thigh. I felt a tickle underneath my hand. What could it possibly be?
  2. 2.
    Looked down to see a brown spider the size of a half dollar coin crawling about slowly. Why are YOU here? How did you get here?
  3. 3.
    Inhaled and exhaled. Eyes back on the road.
  4. 4.
    Looked down again and it was GONE. Where did you go?
  5. 5.
    Drive for 20 minutes inhaling and exhaling slowly. Tell myself, "You're going to get through this."
  6. 6.
    Pull into driveway and it's nowhere in sight.
  7. 7.
    Spend 10 minutes looking under the seats and my body because where else could it have possibly gone? Nowhere!
  8. 8.
    Give up the search. It will probably find its way out or die in the car. Either way, it's not my problem anymore.
  9. 9.
    Go into the house to change into a different set of clothes. Felt another tingle on my back.
  10. 10.
    Walked to the nearest mirror to find it crawling up to my hair. As the kids would say, "Girl, no."
  11. 11.
    Moral of the story: they should teach this stuff in driver's ed.