Crying is optional before/after.
  1. Place onion in freezer for 10 minutes.
  2. Scroll through apps, return text messages and emails while you wait.
  3. Wash hands thoroughly.
  4. Take onion out of freezer and place onto cutting board.
  5. Chop away.
  6. Call/text a friend for emotional support.
  7. You did it. I'm proud of you.
  8. If you don't like onions skip all of these steps and order a pizza. You deserve it.