How to Look Smart in a Library

  1. 1.
    Grab a book. The bigger the better. Cradle it in your right arm.
  2. 2.
    Familiarize yourself with the Dewey Decimal system in Alex Trebek's voice. He's your spiritual guide.
  3. 3.
    Write "this place needs more foliage. start with a fiddle leaf tree." on aged paper. Carefully place in suggestion box.
  4. 4.
    Maneuver through the shelves gracefully, like a silent ballerina.
  5. 5.
    Carry a briefcase filled with reading glasses and hand them out as giveaways.
  6. 6.
    Ask to view the coveted rare books room.
  7. 7.
    ABR - Always be reading.