PRODUCTS MY STYLIST PAOLO USED TO MAKE ME OVER (BEFORE HE TOLD EVERYONE I WAS A PRINCESS)
First of all, Grandmère was the actual press leak, not poor Paolo. He had to spend a fortune on damage control after that unauthorized movie of my life came out. But I digress. Please keep in mind that the monthly Royal Genovian Styling Budget is more than most people's mortgage payments so take these "endorsements" lightly.
- •Oribe for Brilliance and Shine shampoo and conditionerPaolo was horrified to discover that I was still using a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner (which okay, was mostly out of laziness and less about fighting consumerism and the chokehold that capitalism has on female beauty standards). This shampoo is incredible and will make you feel like a hair model. But Lilly found out I was using this and looked up the price, and one bottle of this could feed a family of four for a month so now I use John Frieda Sheer Blonde
- •Leonor Greyl's Masque QuintessenceThis is supposed to repair damage and smooth even the unruliest of curls and it does! Usually long enough for me to get through a state dinner anyway. I'm supposed to use it every day but I usually wake up too late.
- •Kerapremium keratin smoothing treatmentThis took forever and smelled HORRIBLE but when it was done, my hair was legitimately manageable for weeks at a time. Luckily they didn't tell me there was formaldehyde in the solution before I used it because I probably would have run out of the salon screaming like a banshee.
- •Karin Herzog Oxygen Face creamThis is what Kate Middleton swears by but I can't get over the sensation that I'm smearing mayonnaise all over my face. I usually stick to Clean and Clear or Noczema if Paolo isn't around, but I have to hide them from Grandmère who says "one should never put anything on one face that doesn't have to be special ordered" (okay Grandmère, like THAT makes sense)
- •Lancôme Teint Idole foundationI'm still not used to wearing a full face of makeup but this does admittedly make my skin look 10x better.
- •Dior Show mascaraThis stuff is crazy expensive but looks TERRIBLE if it's applied by anyone but a licensed cosmetician. Grandmère makes me wear it because Gisele recommended it to her once. I told her that a supermodel in her 20s has different beauty needs than a 15 year old high school student but she just said "pfuit!" and blew smoke in my face.
- •Naked 1 & 2 palettesThe first time Paolo gave me a smokey eye, I told him I looked like a baby prostitute but something must have gotten lost in translation because he beamed with pride and thanked me profusely.
- •French manicured acrylic nailsThese are the WORST. They get in the way of typing and writing and opening cans and literally so many other necessary tasks. Not to mention, they are PAINFUL. The first time I got a manicure, it felt like they had pried up all my nails and attached little dumbbell weights in their place. But they did stop me from biting my nails so I guess they did their job.
- •A lot of tweeting, waxing, trimming, and shapingI have mostly put this day out of my head because of the sheer trauma my entire body faced that day. But the results were worth it because my confidence immediately blossomed and everyone suddenly fell at my feet worshipping my beauty. HAH.