REASONS MY FRIENDS HAVE REFUSED TO JOIN LIST APP

I swear, for a group of people who claim to be super open-minded and tolerant, they can be extremely stubborn when it comes to downloading a new app.
  1. Lilly Moscovitz
    Lilly contends that the rigidity of the profile and content layout is just another way for "them" to encourage conformity and stifle our natural urge to differentiate ourselves and our work visually, something she claims to have spent her entire life fighting. When I explained to her that there are MANY ways to define your own identity without using custom html, she just stared at me blankly.
  2. Michael Moscovitz
    Michael says he can't spread his attention any thinner until he finishes his stupid thesis for his "Mechanical Engineering in the 21st Century" class at Columbia. Which is actually secretly fine. I already have a ton of drafts about him and if he knew about the whole neck thing, I think I might actually die.
  3. Tina Hakim Baba
    Tina thinks she doesn't have enough to write about. "There are only so many 'TOP 10 ROMANCE NOVEL PROTAGONISTS' or 'BEST PLOT TWISTS IN HARLEQUIN ROMANCE HISTORY' lists I can write before people get tired of them, you know?" I told her that people like the consistency of niche or "themed" lists but she says she's better off sticking to Twitter.
  4. Shameeka Davis
    Her dad has limited her to 2 social media profiles, and she doesn't want to give up her Instagram or Twitter. I TOLD her that List App ISN'T just social media, it's a creative outlet! But she said he wouldn't understand the nuances of the app.
  5. Ling Su Wong
    She was actually pretty excited to use it to show off her artwork...until she saw that all pictures have to be square.
  6. Boris Pelkowski
    Boris is boycotting any platform that doesn't allow video or audio embedding, because it places higher value on text and images over music. I didn't even bother arguing with him. What's he going to write anyway? "BEST JOSHUA BELL LIVE PERFORMANCES"? "BACH CONCERTOS, RANKED"? I'm so sure.
  7. Kenny Showalter
    Kenny claims he can't fit enough plot development into 99 500-character chunks to make writing anything in list form worthwhile. Whatever Kenny, not everything has to be so narrative-driven.
  8. Lana Weinberger
    I made the mistake of bringing up List App in gym class and of course LANA overheard. As if she doesn't have better things to do than eavesdrop on my personal private conversations. Anyway, she said it sounds like "geek heaven" and made a huge scene in the middle of the locker room and now no one at AEHS wants to download it.