HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY
- •Develop a killer thesisEx: "Pies are sublime."
- •ResearchIf you're writing about pies, please take this time to eat as many pies as humanly possible.
- •Create an outlineOr just draw doodles with connected points. Maybe make a PIE CHART outline. Ha! Get it?
- •Start typingUse as many big words as possible. Alliteration is key. Make up one or two new words as you go.
- •FormatBasically, add page numbers, standardize the margins, add fancy pictures to "enhance the aesthetic quality of your literary achievement." Or just to fill up space.
- •Also, awkwardly cuddle the printed copy - the warmth off the hot-off-the-press document will rejuvenate your soul.
- •CryEither a) tears of joy b) tears of suffering c) tears of I'm-so-full-from-the-copious-amounts-of-pie-I-just-consumed