I'M GLAD I'M SINGLE BECAUSE...

  1. 16.
    When I order fries. They're. All. Mine.
  2. 15.
    If I don't shave my legs for a month, nobody cares
  3. 14.
    I can kill my own spiders
  4. 13.
    When I'm out in public, I only have to worry about embarrassing myself. Trying to be embarrassing for two people is hard work!
  5. 12.
    Movie night? I get to pick the movie. I get to pick the snacks. I get to eat all of the snacks myself.
  6. 11.
    I exercise to feel healthy, never to impress someone
  7. 10.
    When I get caught in the rain, I can do the chicken dance and don't have to worry about romantically waltzing instead
  8. 9.
    I can spend COPIOUS amounts of time with my friends and not worry that I should be with him instead
  9. 8.
    Spontaneous trips take as little as me deciding to go. No one worries. No trying to coordinate schedules. Just me and the wide open world of adventure *cue the heroic music and dramatic fog*
  10. 7.
    I know exactly where all of my money has gone. And where it came from.
  11. 6.
    After a run, I can be as red-faced, soaking-sweaty, stinky-smelly as I want because the only thing I need to hug is my towel.
  12. 5.
    I don't have to worry about boundaries or crossing them. My world is unlimited.
  13. 4.
    I can leave my phone in my room and not scare someone half to death thinking that a meteor landed precisely on my head and blew me to smithereens, inhibiting me from responding in a timely fashion
  14. 3.
    I can sing both the girl and guy parts in songs, giving all the lovely squirrels a stellar (or at least entertaining) show
  15. 2.
    No shame in farting
  16. 1.
    I can spend this time learning how crazy and independent I really am so that if a guy can run alongside me and keep up, I'll appreciate it all the more