THE ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY OF HOW I STOLE DARK CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM FROM THE DINING HALL
Alternatively titled THE GREAT ICE CREAM HEIST
- •I got a text at midnight
- •Ummmmm duhI'm truly honored you chose me as your gang buddy.
- •I darted across the campus with utmost speedOnce I reached our designated meeting spot, we began to brainstorm. When? How? What costumes would we use? We drew maps and planned escape routes, it was foolproof.
- •8:15 the next morning we met outside the dining hallI was fashionably late, as expected. But we found a seat away from everybody so that we could plot and scheme some more.
- •@pascalspronk was having second thoughtsI'd reasoned through my moral dilemmas the night before, so I was fine. My rational? The dining hall is all-you-care-to-eat. I care to eat a lot. I care to eat it somewhere else.
- •We surveyed the sceneI casually walked by the ice cream and made a mental note that the double deep chocolate was there. The second walk-by proved that there were no workers anywhere to be seen. I went back to the table and reported these details to my partner. He got up and looked for himself.
- •"All right let's do this"
- •He and I put on our backpacks, returned our dishes, and walked to the ice creamOh horror! There was a worker flirting with a girl dangerously close to the ice cream.
- •I casually began to scoop myself a cone as a coverI expected to get one scoop on before the worker and girl left. But not so...I GOT THREE. Oh great. I have a triple-decker ice cream cone -and- the whole 3 gallon thing we're planning to take.
- •As I was scooping away, @pascalspronk tried to lift the tub of ice cream out of the displayI started freaking out. The girl and worker were still there, and she was facing us!! We can't grab it now.
- •We switched placesMy gang buddy is well over 6 feet tall, so he scooped ice cream into his very own cone and acted as a wall.
- •I lifted the 3 gallon tub of ice creamAnd placed it in Pascal's empty backpack.
- •He put on the bag, and we walked outEach of us had an ice cream cone and a huge smile.
- •Mission accomplishedWe proceeded to eat enough ice cream to feed an army.
- •@squad enjoyed it immensely
- •But now we need a gang nameAny suggestions?