THESE BOOTS

  1. They make me an average height with above-average confidence
  2. Every time I wear them, I receive compliments galore.
    Literally EVERYONE (waitresses, classmates, professors, grandparents, friends, literally EVERYONE) loves them
  3. I got them at goodwill for $6
  4. They're Dr. Scholls (according to the sole), so I looked them up and they're normally over $100
  5. I mean, they are super cute
    And I love them so much