CHAPTER TITLES FOR THE BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE

  1. will refreshments be served?
    my knee-jerk response to an event invitation of any kind. will include such anecdotes as the time I genuinely yelled at a friend for taking a fry off my plate without asking, and then very quickly had to pretend like I was just kidding so as not to seem like an actual psychopath, the time my friend Hanna and I google-imaged various foods and texted each other just the pictures for well over an hour, and this direct quote from my mom: "you're very vehement about food, Micaela."
  2. sock, chef, pickle: nouns which mean nothing to you, but everything to me (the secret language of best friends)
    all about my best friendship with Hanna. our (at this point) indecipherable language for two, our constant communication via capital-letters-only text, the way we truly think exactly alike, and how our lives mirror each other's in ways of which we cannot make sense, no matter how many times we demand an explanation from the universe.
  3. "let's never stop being friends": so far, so good
    all about grace. from the way we went from strangers to best friends in practically a day, to how it felt like, even after four years, we were the only ones in our school who really got each other. now we live two really long train rides apart, but we did some of the most important growing up a person does, together, and for that we are bonded for lyfe.
  4. my parents are two of my closest friends and I think it's weird that you think that's weird, TBH
    my parents are super funny. my mom and I like to make fun of tv shows and commercials together. pretty standard stuff, but I feel like our jokes have to be ten times funnier than other families'. or maybe that's just me. my dad is straight up the smartest person I've ever met in my entire life, and also one of the funniest. he makes simultaneously roll-your-eyes bad but how-did-you-come-up-with-that good puns. I get sad when I think about how I'll have to move out in 40 years.
  5. bryn mawr: cried, lied, cried, pride
    although this sounds pretty whimsical, it's actually painfully accurate about my bryn mawr experience. I cried for two straight hours when I realized that that was the school I was choosing, then first semester was kind of a disaster vis à vis people. my response was to lie to myself for all of second semester. this made me happy until I returned for sophomore year. there were so many tears I opened a new common app account. everything worked itself out in the end, and I cannot even begin to explain how fiercely proud I felt on graduation day.
  6. my neighbor's squeaky pinwheel and other things I cannot change
    his flower pinwheel makes me feel like death is coming. in a poorly oiled wagon. it couldn't have cost more than .99 cents, and yet it weathered blizzard Jonas. this pinwheel is my Liz Lemon-plastic-bag-in-a-tree.