HGTV SHOWS, RANKED
I started watching HGTV last fall, when I worked as an apt leasing associate. my coworker and I always watched tv in the lobby, and our show of choice was sex and the city until our manager came in one day and kidding-but-not said "this is too risqué for the lobby, ladies!" so we switched to the opposite of risqué: home improvement.
- •Tiny House Huntersthese people are the human equivalents of the YouTube comment section. "oooh, we like to travel!!! we are far more cultured and enlightened than home owners and renters!!!" have fun living in your hunter green storage container
- •House Huntersslightly, slightly above their tiny house hunters counterparts. "I don't know about this one, the central a/c vents aren't flush with the hardwood!!! and although I want a center city location and loathe the suburbs, if I hear any traffic whatsoever I will throw myself off the roof!!!!" anytime someone buys a waterfront property: cue my mom "they will regret this when there's a hurricane!!!"
- •House Hunters Internationalstill not great, but the best of the HHers because the locations are more ~exotic~ plus I like the unadulterated rage and resulting tension that emanates from one partner whose leaving their whole life behind in Milwaukee and their employed partner is insisting on living in as rural an area as possible
- •Fixer Upper"are y'all ready to see your fixer upper?!" her taste doesn't suit mine, but god bless beautiful Joanna for putting up with her bonehead of a husband, chip. I do not know where she gets her strength. I want to strangle him through the tv.
- •Love It or List It, Toowatching this show kind of feels like how in 2003 for Chanukah my friend and I both got freaky Friday, but she got hers on DVD and I got mine on VHS
- •Love It or List ItHilary is honestly my queen like she is so put together at all times and doesn't take shit from her ignorant clients who are all "uhh HILARY, we have a budget of ONE THOUSAND dollars, why aren't you able to relocate the laundry to the third floor, finish the basement, add a bathroom, and put in hardwood floors throughout??" also I like the repartee she has with David.
- •Property BrothersDrew and Jonathan Scott are two tall drinks of Canadian water. the very first time I watched this show I think was because I just happened upon it. I didn't know the title/premise but I was onboard with drew's face. and then all of a sudden they jumped to Jonathan and I was like whoa poor editing isn't this the same day? and then they showed them together and I honestly was so shocked and I really don't know why because it's only a home improvement show.
- •Flip or Flopas I reflect upon my poor tv habits, I realize this is my favorite show because there are no clients to annoy the shit out of everyone. Tarek and Christina just get in and get out and then make a ton of money. my dad (who is an architect) always yells "why would you buy it sight unseen???" every time and I'm like dad, it's for the DRAMA