### MATH AND ME

I've never cried over a boy, but I have cried over math. a lot.

- •math has always been, far and away, my worst subject
- •even when I thought I understood it, I didn't
- •exhibit a
- •but I always studied really, really hard, so I still got As
- •this lasted through seventh grade. I even got the blue team math award!although I think this was because my only friend in my class got really sick and missed the rest of the year and my teacher took pity on partner-less me
- •but in eighth grade, I got my first B. in math and in general.devastating.
- •in ninth grade, I was placed in academic math instead of honorsalso known as "stupid" math and "smart" math, which in hindsight makes me kind of sad that kids referred to themselves as stupid
- •I actually really struggled in that math class, and I got another B, but I clawed myself tf out to honors math for sophomore year
- •which fucking sucked. I had to take honors freshman math first semester so I would be ready for honors sophomore math the next semesterall the freshmen were better at math than me
- •one time in soph math, I really wasn't getting a concept (it was sin/cos/tan I think), and all my deskmates were ignoring me (lol they were prob just doing their work) and so was the sub so I just sat and silently cried at my desk until my friend noticed the tears rolling onto my desk and explained it to mesometimes I can be a little ~dramatic~, I'll admit
- •junior year...oh my god. I had honors math and honors physics in the same semester. a good metaphor for how this felt is the Atilla the Hun torture-practice of roping a victim's arms and legs to four horses and then having the horses walk in opposite directions, tearing the victim's limbs apartvictim = me // horses = physics and math // Atilla the Hun = also me
- •I emerged pretty scathed, I won't lie, but I still pulled out Bswhich were my expectation at this point (in my math days, I may have referred to a B in math as my mode score)
- •senior year, I really wanted to take photo. but the college counselor said to take honors calc. it didn't go over well. I got my first ever C, and (for some reason) my guidance counselor told me that my teacher had said - and I quote - "Micaela just has no inclination towards calculus whatsoever"not for lack of trying, d bag!!! I spent a GOOD portion of my after school hours from soph-senior year in after school math help. once I was there for 5 hours!
- •I took my last ever math class in my sophomore year of college. it was stat, the """"easy"""" math class@ fucking EVERYONE: when someone says they're bad at math, don't be all "but stat is so easy?!?!" because that makes them feel worse!!! how is this not self-explanatory!!!
- •I needed a C for the class to count toward my core credits, and my prof gave me a C- despite the fact that I went to all the TA homework sessions and every help session she personally offered
- •I saw her at the gym the next semester and she was all 😀😀😀👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 from across the room and I was all
- •but now my math days are over!
- •to this day, I retain my A-student level of skill at k - 7 math, and (I'm sure) an extremely declined B-level of skill at anything beyond that