MATH AND ME

I've never cried over a boy, but I have cried over math. a lot.
  1. β€’
    math has always been, far and away, my worst subject
  2. β€’
    even when I thought I understood it, I didn't
  3. β€’
    exhibit a
  4. β€’
    but I always studied really, really hard, so I still got As
  5. β€’
    this lasted through seventh grade. I even got the blue team math award!
    although I think this was because my only friend in my class got really sick and missed the rest of the year and my teacher took pity on partner-less me
  6. β€’
    but in eighth grade, I got my first B. in math and in general.
    devastating.
  7. β€’
    in ninth grade, I was placed in academic math instead of honors
    also known as "stupid" math and "smart" math, which in hindsight makes me kind of sad that kids referred to themselves as stupid
  8. β€’
    I actually really struggled in that math class, and I got another B, but I clawed myself tf out to honors math for sophomore year
  9. β€’
    which fucking sucked. I had to take honors freshman math first semester so I would be ready for honors sophomore math the next semester
    all the freshmen were better at math than me
  10. β€’
    one time in soph math, I really wasn't getting a concept (it was sin/cos/tan I think), and all my deskmates were ignoring me (lol they were prob just doing their work) and so was the sub so I just sat and silently cried at my desk until my friend noticed the tears rolling onto my desk and explained it to me
    sometimes I can be a little ~dramatic~, I'll admit
  11. β€’
    junior year...oh my god. I had honors math and honors physics in the same semester. a good metaphor for how this felt is the Atilla the Hun torture-practice of roping a victim's arms and legs to four horses and then having the horses walk in opposite directions, tearing the victim's limbs apart
    victim = me // horses = physics and math // Atilla the Hun = also me
  12. β€’
    I emerged pretty scathed, I won't lie, but I still pulled out Bs
    which were my expectation at this point (in my math days, I may have referred to a B in math as my mode score)
  13. β€’
    senior year, I really wanted to take photo. but the college counselor said to take honors calc. it didn't go over well. I got my first ever C, and (for some reason) my guidance counselor told me that my teacher had said - and I quote - "Micaela just has no inclination towards calculus whatsoever"
    not for lack of trying, d bag!!! I spent a GOOD portion of my after school hours from soph-senior year in after school math help. once I was there for 5 hours!
  14. β€’
    I took my last ever math class in my sophomore year of college. it was stat, the """"easy"""" math class
    @ fucking EVERYONE: when someone says they're bad at math, don't be all "but stat is so easy?!?!" because that makes them feel worse!!! how is this not self-explanatory!!!
  15. β€’
    I needed a C for the class to count toward my core credits, and my prof gave me a C- despite the fact that I went to all the TA homework sessions and every help session she personally offered
  16. β€’
    I saw her at the gym the next semester and she was all πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ‘‹πŸΌπŸ‘‹πŸΌπŸ‘‹πŸΌ from across the room and I was all
  17. β€’
    but now my math days are over!
  18. β€’
    to this day, I retain my A-student level of skill at k - 7 math, and (I'm sure) an extremely declined B-level of skill at anything beyond that