MY CELL PHONES OF YORE

a technological trip down memory lane
  1. Verizon LG VX5200. My first phone. It was the best present Christmas 2004 saw. I had been begging and pleading for a cell phone for what had felt like decades, because my three best friends ALL had Motorola RAZRs, which obviously made them all cool as shit. Having a RAZR was the coolest thing you could do in middle school. Bar none. It just was.
    Of my three RAZR-owning BFFs(aeae+), one had a pink version, and one had silver. Since the backs came off, they traded them, so that one had a mostly silver phone with a pop of pink, and vice versa. So that made them bonded for life (till tenth grade). I can't even begin to explain how devastatingly cool and exclusive that was. Nevertheless, we were all thrilled when I got my trusty 5200, because it meant they no longer had to call my landline for a four-way conference call, AND we could text.
  2. Verizon LG VX8600. Christmas 2006. I had completed one semester of high school. I thought this phone was honestly the best thing I had ever seen. It was so sleek and shiny. Although my first phone had not set the bar so high in this department. Regardless, I was sold. There was Internet too, but it was strictly, strictly verboten because you could
    only browse free of charge for 10 mins, and it took about 4 to really boot up. I can't tell you the panic that was struck into my heart whenever I accidentally selected the little globe icon. I would have to rapidly press END until I was brought back to the safety of my home screen. Sadly, this phone broke on Thanksgiving Eve 2007. It had been charging on our half wall, set to vibrate, when it vibrated clean off bc some bitch kept texting me, and all the pins in the charging port were destroyed.
  3. Verizon LG VX8700. My poor phone's successor, in business and in my life. It was nice, but I was really lamenting my dear 8600. Silver and blue was a jarring color scheme to return to after almost a year of black and red. Silver and blue also represented my first phone, which by 2008 may as well have been named the Clunk-o-Meter 5200.
    This phone, too, broke after a year, but some merciful Verizon employee granted me clemency and replaced it for free. I was quite pleased with this phone for the duration of my ownership. However, I was ready to move on when I saw Gossip Girl's Rufus Humphrey using this exact phone, amid all the hot, popular people toting LG enV 2s. It does not bode well for you when Blair and Serena have the latest phone, and the uncool kid's DAD has your phone.
  4. Samsung Rogue. Christmas 2009. My first non-flip phone. I was extremely dubious of the slider at first. Like, how was I supposed to close that thing with a flourish? What was I supposed to idly open and close? But, as flip phones started to be ruthlessly phased out by Blackberry, I grew accustomed to the slider. It was a great phone, actually.
    The biggest difference, of course, was that I no longer used T9 to text. I had a QWERTY keyboard. Which took some maneuvering, because my hands are very small. I should mention here that I had been texting on ABC until February 2007, because I didn't understand what T9 was for. Let's all have a moment of silence for the thousands of times I had to press 7 to get an S over two plus years. Also, when I DID have the T9 epiphany, I learned that autocorrect predicted "slaves" before "plates," despite
  5. (cont'd) the fact that P comes before S. I discovered this while attempting to text someone that I would bring plates to the party. Luckily, I have a keen eye and made sure to not, in fact, let the hostess know that I would be providing the slaves. I digress. The Rogue was a faithful phone, until I got to college in the fall of 2010 and everyone
    and their MOM had an iPhone 3, or, if you were hot shit, an iPhone 4. So, for Christmas 2010, after months and months of begging and pleading (hey! just like six years ago!), I got an iPhone 4s. It was as amazing as I thought it'd be. I was already a pro at using it because I had been trying out all my friends' iPhones at school. And to think there was only one buffer phone between me owning a flip phone and a TOUCH phone. What a world.
  6. Now I have a gold iPhone 6. At first I was dubious (re: small hands), but now the 4s looks like an itsy-bitsy relic.
  7. What a journey. Can't wait until my next phone, which will inevitably be so wafer thin that I can roll it up into a little tube and stick it behind my ear.