please don't waste your time reading this it is so deeply unimportant
  1. I hate how the message that people take from the lion king is "hakuna matata"
    what did I say back up there👆🏼
  2. everyone's all hakuna matata ✌
    🎶it means no worries🎶
  3. to which I say
  4. UM, did you even WATCH this movie??
  5. timon and pumbaa teach simba hakuna matata when they discover him as teeny baby simba who has just run away (been exiled/whatever) from pride rock
  6. he learns about living a life with no worries and turns into hot adult simba,
    (this is normal right??? like we can all gloss over the "hot" part bc it is commonly acknowledged that people think simba turns out hot even though we are all very uncomfortable about confronting this thought??)
  7. and in doing so, completely abandons his family and friends back home, who must live in a world where whoopi goldberg yields political power
  8. it is only when he reunites with nala, and actually thinks a little more critically about his past, that he decides to return home
  9. he returns to pride rock, kills scar, and takes his rightful place as king of the jungle (savanna but k) in the cleansing rain
  10. so, if he had not spent years hakuna matata-ing it up with timon and pumbaa and actually HAD worried about his life before mufasa died, he could have learned his lesson (OUR COLLECTIVE AUDIENCE LESSON)/saved his family earlier
  11. like hakuna matata is actually the "problem" of the story that simba overcomes, and scar killing mufasa and telling simba to run away is more of a catalyst for the problem
  12. in fact, the REAL lesson of this movie comes from his exchange with rafiki
    simba: I know what I have to do. but going back means I'll have to face my past. I've been running from it for so long. [rafiki hits simba on the head with his stick] simba: ow! jeez, what was that for? rafiki: it doesn't matter. it's in the past. simba: yeah, but it still hurts. rafiki: oh yes, the past can hurt. but from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it. [swings his stick again at simba, who ducks out of the way] rafiki: ha. you see?
  13. so. in conclusion. if y'all know of anyone hiring I have a lot of free time