recently I was let down by a friend and I'm kind of in a hole right now. This list is long and somewhat sad so if you get through all of this then 💖
  1. Why is it that every period of your life people say is "the best time of your life!!"
  2. It's too much pressure. Sure! If one thing kind of sucks you can move on to the next - like for me, 25? They say that's supposed to rock?
  3. But I'm kind of heartbroken about university?
  4. I'm in my 2nd year right now, approaching finals. I don't want to say I have no friends because that would be a lie and a smack in the face to the couple of wonderful people I know and love
  5. But in High school I had my people. We're still close as hell (maybe too close) but I've been friends with some of them since literally the 3rd grade and don't remember how I met them.
  6. Anyway, it's been hard for me to make new friends. Maybe I'm comparing these new potential friends to a standard that took years to cultivate and that's an impossible standard.
  7. I know it's an impossible standard.
  8. and I'm not the most typically outgoing and social person, I'm happy alone a lot of the time.
  9. but I'm honestly really lonely. I know, maybe it's a mood. I really feel like it's messing with my psyche
  10. I know I need to "get out there!" and "ask people to hang out!" but it's not that easy. In fact it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
  11. At this point in the year I've kind of just given up. Which isn't great for me mentally. I just don't know what to do.
  12. I talk to my Mom a lot. She's pretty much my best friend (this isn't sad! In fact it's pretty wonderful) but I've been doing it more often because she's the only person I feel comfortable sharing my feelings and worries with. I feel like I'm worrying her though so I need to stop.
  13. (I guess besides everyone reading this now... ahah)
  14. Anyway, I don't know if I'm alone in this. Everyone else including my friends seems to have found their people.
  15. Plus I'm going on exchange next semester (!!!) so I haven't exactly been motivated to step my game up.
  16. That's a whole other list of anxieties and pros/cons
  17. That's pretty much all. Haven't figured out how to resolve this yet. Input appreciated.
  18. Thanks for reading/listening 💖💕
  19. Giphy