Weird Things That are "Natural" and "Normal"
If you think about it...
- •Having a petYou literally just adopted a domesticated lion or wolf. And then, it just walks around your house all day! It's weird that there is a furry animal that just hangs out in your house for your company and entertainment when they can't even speak.
- •ClappingTo show appreciation or enthusiasm we smack our hands together and it makes a loud "bang" sound. And if you don't slap your hands together then you're rude. Think about it: your in an auditorium for a guest speaker and everyone just smacks their hands together... It's weird and frankly a bit creepy... Kind of cult-like... You just know.
- •PregnancyFor 9 months, a little alien person is growing in a woman's stomach. It feeds off of her, makes her ill, and demands odd combinations of food known as "cravings." Then, the mom is actually connected to this unborn thing! At the end of the 9 months women have to push this little alien out of their body so that it can live in the world. This thing came from an egg and sperm and turned into a living, breathing thing. HOW?!
- •KissingWe both have lips why don't we put them on each other's and move them around a bit? And why does it show affection? Why does it symbolize love (and lust for that matter)? Who thought it'd be a good idea to stick your tongue in someone's mouth and swap saliva??
- •TonguesIt's like there's a little alien in your mouth that can move around and taste stuff. It's like it has a mind of its own.
- •SexWho was the first person to think "yeah this is definitely going to fit in there." Who was the first guy to experiment with putting his junk in a woman (or man) knowing that this is going to work out and be great for both parties? Did he try everywhere else and when it didn't work out he just stumbled upon this??
- •SextingYou're either sending nude pictures of yourself or telling the other person how you'd get down and dirty with them. In reality you wouldn't even do that stuff for numerous possible reasons. And then what's really even the point? You're not physically present so what are you both really getting from it? Then it's just awkward when you see them in person because you said some things you should probably go to church for.
- •MilkWho even discovered if you squeeze this and pull that this stuff with come out and you can drink it?? You're drinking cow juice. Enough said.
- •Really any drinkTea: leaf water, coffee: bean water, beer: yeast water... Need I go on?
- •BrasWhy do women really need bras? 99% of the time they just hold your boobs up some... Like a hammock. Don't get me wrong there are people in this world who need bras but a majority of women don't... But if you don't wear one (no matter how flat chested you might be) it's considered weird to most.
- •SleepingSleeping is just weird. For 8 hours (give or take) people lay down on a special mattress in special sleeping clothes and basically die right there. Or maybe unconscious is a better word because YOU WAKE UP WITH NO RECOLLECTION OF THAT TIME AFTER X NUMBER OF HOURS. And during this time you hallucinate very vividly which has been coined as "dreaming."
- •NamesAt birth you are given an identification that you will from there on out be responding to and referred to. It's basically a number ID but a bit more personal... But is it really? Not only that but your parents spent hours maybe longer debating what your ID would be by looking through books and online to decide which pairing of letters they think sounded best when put together.
- •CryingWhen we get happy or sad we leak from our eyes. Salt water is being pushed out of our eyes for what purpose? Yeah yeah I'm sure someone knows exactly why but WHY?? Why do we cry when something is sad? Why do we cry when we get hurt? It's really weird when you think about it.
- •CarsIt's like a box on wheels that can carry several people at a time. There's one person driving and actually doing something while the rest of the people are just sitting there being transported via box-on-wheels.
- •Santa ClausDoes the idea of a big man coming down your chimney while you sleep at night with a giant bag not frightening?
- •LaughingWhen you find something amusing you diaphragm shakes and you make a weird sound and sometimes you can't even breathe during this time because you're too busy making a weird cackling sound.
- •TicklingLet me just move my fingers and hands over you and you'll hate it but won't be able to stop laughing and again, while you laugh, if I don't stop, you will stop breathing. And this is fun?
- •Reality TVYou're spending x number of hours watching people's lives from your living room at home. You don't know these people and yet you watch them so often you feel like you do. Can you imagine having your private and personal life being broadcast across the world? All your happy moments and sad moments are being made known to people you don't know and probably will never meet are watching your life and become obsessed with it. They start to stalk you... But it's not considered stalking! Just love...