THINGS I THINK "THEY" MIGHT BE UP TO

If you have any intel, please advise.
  1. Google Maps
    I think they deliver the audible directions in such a weird stilted way to make it absolutely impossible to remember on your own. I think..............th...........ey did.................a study............and fou.........nd......if you tell someone something in that format they will not remember what the shit you were........talk......ing about.
  2. Google Maps
    I think they always try and send you on a slightly different route so that you can never just memorize your way and not use them.
  3. Apple
    If I do that setting where I can be all "hey Siri, honey buckets? How many teaspoons are in this shit?" Isn't "Siri", if that's her real name, listening to everything else I say? Or at least if I say to a friend sear that chicken Siris ears are a perking up?!?!
  4. U.S. Government
    Destroying the middle class.
  5. Puppies
    Distracting me from everything else. Especially from noticing the other stuff "they" are up to.