WHERE ARE MY KEYS

Hold on ill be there in a second. Just need to find my keys.
  1. Are they in the dish?
    No
  2. Are they in the lock still?
    No
  3. Are they on the floor?
    No
  4. Are they in my bed?
    No
  5. Are they in the couch cushions?
    No
  6. Are they in the fridge?
    No
  7. Are they in the car?
    No I'm inside
  8. Arrrrrrreeeee theyyyyyy in the hamper?
    No
  9. Oh. They're in the fucking pants I have on.
    See you soon