COMPANIES I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE OTHER THAN THE ONE I'M ALREADY

  1. 1.
    Whole Foods
    We wish we could take people's whole paychecks instead of bribing shoppers with coupons.
  2. 2.
    Online Dating App
    We seem to be doing pretty well for ourselves and are riding high off our Bumble experience.
  3. 3.
    Jo Ann Fabrics
    In your dreams Jo Ann! Rather eat a dick than be Jo Ann Fabrics.
  4. 4.
    Really any hip social media company. We are a little desperate and scared about our future. Etsy needs us right?