Thoughts on Seeing a Therapist for the 1st Time

In 6 years.
  1. Before the sesh I started to get really nervous. Hand shaking nervous.
  2. When the sesh began I just started talking about everything. Then I stopped to ask, oh wait is there a method to doing this?
    She smiled and replied - let me ask you just a few questions first.
  3. Then I started talking more, jumping around from topic to topic, not making eye contact, so that I wouldn't cry. 💪
  4. Then I looked up at her and almost cried.
  5. But I didn't! 💪💪
  6. She was kind and encouraging and wants to help me lead a more confident life.
  7. I didn't feel like I had to impress her.
  8. Though she said she was impressed by my accomplishments
  9. She was the first person in a very long time that made me feel okay about how I feel about my feelings and myself.
  10. In a :45 min sesh she concluded that our first order of business is to learn how to NOT completely shutoff emotion/feelings but to let them surface JUST a little.
    I have a feeling this is going to hurt.
  11. I wonder if therapists Google their patients.