THOUGHTS

  1. Guns have always made me uncomfortable. I have always been a self-proclaimed pacifist.
    This is part of my personality, and also my parents indoctrinated.
  2. I try really hard to respect that some people like shoot guns and hunt animals.
    I work in an area where the majority of my students' families have guns in their households, and hunting is a regular pastime.
  3. It is very difficult for me to engage in conversations about gun control because I am afraid of people who shoot guns.
    Police, hunters, people who don't own guns but go to gun ranges. Terrified.
  4. Truthfully, gun violence has affected me way too much.
  5. Some of my favorite kids lost their father in a workplace shooting 8 years ago.
    I never got to meet their father. I have know idea who this guy was that made these super cool kids. They don't know their father.
  6. I graduated from the University of Redlands.
    The campus is 8 miles from the Regional Medical Center, and even closer to the shooters' home. Many of my friends live and work within blocks. I spent Wednesday afraid for their lives. I do not accept this.
  7. I have nightmares. Regularly.
    Not even that I am attacked, just like that there is another shooting. I have nightmares where I watch more people die because the free access to guns is unprecedented.
  8. My heart is broken. The past-tense, permanent version of the word.
    I don't know how to heal it, and I don't know how to let my heart feel. I shut off my emotions, I refuse to read about the victims, and I try to protect myself. (This is totally false, I feel fear and anxiety. )