5 things to know about Provo, Utah

aka: Bubble Within the Bubble, my personal hell
  1. 1.
    Closed Sundays
    Don't plan on eating out unless you want Cafe Rio or Panda Express.
  2. 2.
    No, they are not trying to be overbearing
    That person smiling really hugely at you and holding the door open even though you're waaaay behind them? That's just them trying to be nice.
  3. 3.
    It's a meat market (for anyone roughly 18-28)
    Mormons gonna morm. 💍
  4. 4.
    Soda shops are all the rage
    There's only one coffee shop in Provo (Coffee Pod on Bulldog), so Mormons need their energy somehow! (via sugar, mostly)
  5. 5.
    Provo All-Stars
    Sometimes a former zoobie, these Vivint-employed, snapback-wearing, self righteous Vasa enthusiasts will still be here fifty years from now.