A GUIDE TO MEN YOU'D DATE IN SAN FRANCISCO, DEFINED BY THE NEIGHBORHOOD THEY LIVE IN

Definitely not a definitive list in the slightest bit...
  1. The Outer Sunset
    About to graduate or is fresh out of college. His parents still help him out with rent while he interviews for jobs related to his major. Will explain he likes living near the beach because it reminds him of Southern California and it's far enough away from downtown. Doesn't understand what a real date is considering his tinder bio has this emoji 🍆 somewhere on it.
  2. The Inner Sunset
    At least a year out of college. Still frequents Yancy's Saloon on game days and only drinks beers (but like Stella Artois because he doesn't know what else to order). Still thinks Taco Tuesday is a thing. Will only take you out to bars and ask "so you coming home or not?"
  3. Ingleside
    Still going to San Francisco State University. Is very into going to the liquor store that doesn't card your ID so he can make jungle juice in an ice chest for a house party. Always has an invite for a themed party for the weekend (ABC PARTY OR NAH?) Definitely writes U instead of you in text.
  4. Lakeshore
    He might as well tell you he lives in Daly City.
  5. Outer Richmond
    Very similar to the guy you'd meet living in The Sunset, except add another two years to his age. This time around, he only has one other roommate instead of three and (thankfully) doesn't share a room. Still thinks Trad'r Sams is a good time.
  6. Inner Richmond
    95% sure he either went to University of San Francisco, is Catholic, or works at the hospital. Date night will consist of going to dinner on Geary or Clement Street before calling it an early night.
  7. Sea Cliff
    He has his life together. He also has money. Not a "Oh, I work 45+ hours a week" but like trust fund money. He was smart enough to invest it in real estate/stock market. He owns a house overlooking the Pacific Ocean and has a maid. You'll have to be dressed to the nines on every occasion.
  8. Haight Ashbury/Panhandle
    Has no sense of boundaries after living with no less than three other people. Skateboards around the neighborhood and enjoys standing on his porch when people 'run' Bay to Breakers. Doesn't regret that one tattoo he got after a few too many drinks. Always has tickets to the Independent. Fun to hook up with, not to settle down with.
  9. Marina/Presidio
    Still talks to all his frat bros from Berkeley and more than likely lives with at least one of them. Won't stop talking about himself or where the best place to brunch is. Will show up to a date at least 15 minutes late to a bar or restaurant on Chestnut Street. Owns at least one pair of Sperry boat shoes, khaki chinos that hit above the knees, and a polo shirt.
  10. Cow Hollow
    Refer back to the Marina guy's description, replace Chestnut Street with Union Street, and he's only fractionally less douchey.
  11. Pacific Heights
    A seriously expensive neighborhood to live in, which is saying a lot for San Francisco. Does marketing or accounting in the city. Lives in an old Victorian, Edwardian, or Chateau. Will text you to make sure you made it home safely.
  12. Russian Hill
    Knows there's too many tourists out and about, either going to Fisherman's Wharf or North Beach, so he's become a bit of a home body. Would make you dinner at his place after the third date to show off his cooking skills from Urban Picnic.
  13. North Beach
    Mid 20's to early 30's. Enjoys going out for drinks at least twice a week. Owns a suit. Constantly trying to one up the person he's talking to. Always trying to adopt the latest technology. Very into himself.
  14. South Beach
    Works at Yelp/Twitter/Salesforce/etc. Lives in a high rise with an incredible view of the city and/or Bay Bridge. Downside is it's a studio and it's $3600+ a month.
  15. Mission Bay
    Also a tech bro. May also live in a high rise, but moved to the city just slightly before the tech boom. Willing to spend money on a nice dinner at least once a week. Will talk politics over wine, but never discloses anything about work.
  16. Van Ness/Civic Center
    No matter what age he is, he's still into drinking on a weeknight. Has lived in his apartment for 12+ years and moonlighted as a bartender back in the day. Bouncers and bartenders on Polk Street know him by name so you never wait for a thing. It seems fun at first, until you realize you spend more time listening to bar music than getting to know him.
  17. Tenderloin
    Run as fast as you can. He has a rent controlled apartment and will tell you the neighborhood is 'safe' ... (compared to what?) No woman should be walking in the tenderloin after sunset so forget about staying the night.
  18. Castro
    Has probably dated men when he was in college or has a gay roommate he's been best friends with since high school.
  19. Glen Park
    Will remind you countless times he's one of the rare "born and raised SF Native". In case you forget, his 415 area code/Golden Gate Bridge/SF Giants logo tattoo will for sure be a constant reminder.
  20. Dogpatch/Hunters Point
    Good news is the neighborhood is generally quiet since it's mainly industrial. His place is a warehouse-converted-loft so it's ultra chic and minimal. You'll end up going out on Third Street. Hopefully you like beer, because those breweries are the only thing keeping him out there.
  21. Bernal Heights
    Likely to own a dog, but more likely he lives with 5+ other people (is that the trade off for a backyard here?). Has a motorcycle or Scoot membership. Willing to try new foods so dinners will consist of ramen, Indian pizza, and Salvadoran.
  22. The Mission (northeastern)
    Works in tech, but more specifically a start up. Is using his signing bonus to pay for dinners at the bougie restaurants and talks about craft beer a lot, but never orders one. Will wait 20 minutes at Trick Dog for a cocktail in the hopes that he runs into a coworker.
  23. The Mission (northwestern)
    A melting pot of Hispanic men, bearded men who helped coin the term lumbersexual, and skaters that haven't showered in four days. Thinks going to Dolores Park on a warm day is a good idea. Willing to hit up a dive bar or taqueria, but after the third date start saying hello to Alamo Drafthouse and Loló.
  24. Noe Valley
    Aggressively passionate about the coffee he drinks. Sightglass, Blue Bottle, Philz, Reveille, Trouble, Ritual- oh, the list could go on and on. He's too pretentious to admit he likes the Mission, which is why he lives right on the border.
  25. Potrero Hill
    You either find the skateboarder who only wants to see local bands play at Bottom of the Hill or the late 20-something that will take you to a wine bar after an early dinner.