PERSONAL STATISTICS I WANT TO SEE AT THE END OF MY LIFE

  1. Amount of pizza rolls consumed
  2. Percentage of alcohol versus other liquids consumed over lifetime
  3. Percentage of failed Tinder dates
  4. Correlation of men dated with facial hair versus men with cats versus both
  5. Amount of unrecovered bobby pins lost into the abyss over my lifetime
  6. Number of times Death Cab for Cutie has played a show and was in attendance
  7. Amount of times I said "that man is the love of my life"
  8. Number of times I've lost a personal item while drinking
  9. Amount of times I said "I love you"
  10. Number of flights I've had delayed and/or cancelled