1. I'd save money by not buying drinks
    Or going anywhere for that matter
  2. I wouldn't have blackout drunk nights
    And my roommate graig wouldn't have to hold my hair as I dry heave into the toilet
  3. Maybe my iPhone screen has had enough repairs in its lifetime
    Got it fixed on Sunday and it's already cracked.
  4. I wouldn't upload random things to Instagram and snapchat.
    You know, that random video everyone needed to see at one am?
  5. I wouldn't send drunk texts to the guy I like.
    I use drunk texts loosely since this is clearly gibberish.