Inspired by @semioccasional
  1. The boy I like would finally stop being so hot and cold all the time
    And actually profess his love for me since the last time I basically did and he played me again
  2. Donald Trump's attempt at a presidential nomination is a really funny joke Sasha Baron Cohen is behind
    Ok jokes over, tell us it's one of your new movies now
  3. Gilmore Girls will bring back Sookie St. James
    I got my wish for Jess but how can you not have Sookie?
  4. I could afford my rent for once
    San Francisco is expensive and I'd like to use my paycheck for something else, please.
  5. I would have the courage to go out and make new friends
    Lonely introvert looking for other lonely introverts. Any volunteers?
  6. I could get a new job that pays better
    And isn't a joke like my last one.
  7. I could actually have an iPhone without a crack in the screen for once
    Apple, you sneaky devil. I'm clumsy and AppleCare doesn't cover "accidental damage" so I have to pay $120 again to not read spiderwebs?