My father is 1 of 11 children, raised strictly Catholic (and still practices), right wing conservative and moved less than 15 minutes away from his childhood home. All of these are absurdly out of the question for him.
  1. Travel alone to a foreign place
  2. Travel with someone I didn't know/haven't met before
  3. Have a green card marriage
  4. Elope
  5. Have a child out of wedlock
  6. Be a surrogate for someone
  7. Move to another state
  8. Eat an entire 12 pack from Taco Bell in one sitting