HOW TO KEEP YOUR BALLS IN A RELATIONSHIP
This also goes for women. By "balls," what I really mean is your sense of individuality. Or in the worst of cases, your self-reliance. NOTE: This is coming from someone who likes to believe he has possession of his balls in his current relationship.
- •To begin, I'll be a real douche and I'll quote Khalil Gibran's The Prophet:Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone but quiver with the same music.
- •I'm certainly no expert, and I've never played a lute, but I think he means you need to live your own life. Have your own friends. Be your own person. A healthy relationship consists of two people being compatible and working towards a shared belief in each other.
- •I've been guilty of it and I've seen it happen to friends; people start dating someone and disappear. Like the earth just swallowed them and refuses to spit them out. It sucks because you kind of lose a friend.
- •Even if that is a trait of becoming a relationship recluse, and to be honest I think this accurately describes most young people, it requires a lot of effort to get out of that. But how?
- •You should have a good sense of yourself before you get into any serious relationship. This will help delineating between relationship life and normal/friendship life down the line.
- •Of course, share your life with this person, but don't let it define you. Let people know, most importantly yourself, that you're a separate entity from your relationship.
- •I'm fascinated by these things. Relationships, that is. They're very complex and there's not a simple solution for anything. Most of the time, however, whatever the issue, it could be fixed by a talk, a walk, and a little bit of outside perspective.
- •AND you will always fuck up. There will always be things you can do better. But I think that's the beauty of it too. To fail means to learn. Is that a real quote or did I just make that up?
- •Also, kind of a non-sequitur, but if you're long distance, three weeks is the cut off. It officially gets weird after that.
- •To summarize. Know yourself, know your limits, talk it out, go to dinner by yourself, three weeks, and don't get weird.