WHY I COULD NEVER LIVE WITH SOMEONE I WASN'T HAVING SEX WITH

A very dear friend of mine stayed on my couch this week, and though he and I get along very well, two days into his stay I found myself becoming extremely irritable. Here's why:
  1. The physical act of having to clothe myself became frustrating. Just to walk to the bathroom, or to get a glass of water, or just when I would rather be less clothed.
    Obviously, when you're with a girlfriend or a boyfriend, nakedness isn't a concern, but with a friend you're not sleeping with, it would be weird.
  2. The ongoing bits and voices we do when we see each other ceaselessly merged into everyday life and I found myself getting extremely annoyed by our inability to have a normal conversation.
    This merges with the one from above. There is such thing as it being tok early to be funny sometimes.
  3. Walking into the apartment to find my friend there, smoking in mid-afternoon, an indulgence I only allow myself at night.
    When I think about it, this is where it all started for me and I probably should have spoken up. Instead I pretended like it was okay and subconsciously started creating this list.
  4. Walking into the apartment and smelling a musky man scent that doesn't belong to me.
    Sorry, but if I'm paying as much as I am for this place it should only smell like one person.
  5. I started to feel lazy or selfish if I was sitting on the couch with nothing for more than an hour because they'd be sitting there watching me.
    My relaxation was compromised slightly by his existential anxieties.
  6. Mostly, I think because I've never lived with anyone other than my parents and girlfriend it's very foreign to have to share my private space with someone else.
    If I HAD to that's a another story...