Apple Watch Benefits

I was given an Apple Watch for Christmas. I have decided it is time to talk openly about why it makes me better than everyone. [kidding]
  1. I can open my work PowerBook without authenticating it several times a day.
    Now this may seem trivial. But when your workplace requires phrases with mixed cases a number a symbol a drop of blood and the sacrifice of a virgin - you begin to run out of software developers.
  2. It reminds me to breath... a lot
    I mean damn. Where was it before now? I'm glad it came along before I passed out.
  3. My wrist vibrates a lot
    Too bad I can't feel anything naughty in that spot. I'm sure someone must have that affliction. Lucky bastard. I once read in the early 90s of a drug where a side effect was orgasms when you yawned. Always wanted to catch whatever you were prescribed that. And of course maybe a prescription for my chronic insomnia.
  4. It reminds me to stand
    Usually when I'm driving or on the toilet.
  5. I now know my pulse rate is between 58 and 65 bpm.
    Is that good? I have no clue what that means.
  6. This here List app updates a lot
    I mean seriously. If you are going to alert people, best practices is to give people an app for the Watch to at least READ the damn list.
  7. I now know when I'm getting calls when my phone is at my desk
    I'm not Dick Tracy. I will never be that guy who says: "folks... my Watch... I gotta take this."
  8. I always arrive to my meetings now
    This is actually a good thing. Even the ones I would blow off because the people holding them weren't important enough. Kidding again.