GOOD EVES DROPPING

So I like to listen to other people conversations- you don't?
  1. "Just make me whatever you want- whatever you feel like!!"
    Bartender asks "what kind of drink do you normally like?" Girl: "whatever, whatever you feel like, I'll like it!" Bartender makes something, serves girl. She exclaims "ugh, not like THIS!! This is strong!!"
  2. "I peed myself waiting in line!!"
    That was the wife. Husband "I'm pretty fucked up". Also from this group (there were about 5 of them together): "what was that blue thing I liked?" Response: "WINDEX!!" Loud laughter erupted. 2 mins later one of the ladies stood up and inexplicably screamed "ITS RAINING MEN, hallelujah it's raining men!" Started to do a stripper dance on a pole and her (mom? aunt?) grabbed her and said "let's get some food!" Crowd left. THANK GOD. 🙏🏻
  3. "I quit smoking for a year and a half and then my daughter went through some tragedy and I bought a pack and smoked it in one night.."
  4. "I can't wait to make my collage.."
    Of towel animals.
  5. (At 7:30 am, before bars opened) "I need a Diet Coke!! Hello?? Can I get a Diet Coke?"
  6. Guy falls down 3 steps. Land on the ground, on his butt. Exclaims "SAVED IT!" even though he didn't at all. Got up, walked away. Girlfriend starts to walk away, then turns around and says (pretty awkwardly) "it's his birthday" to no one in particular.
    I laughed hilariously for like 10 mins by myself. That was a good one.
  7. "I'm about to take me a good ass nap.."
  8. One Mexican woman to the other after I refused the former for services I accepted from the latter (I got one cornrow in my hair after drinking too many free Coronas): "what did you tell her?" "Nothing, I only offered once" "but what did you tell her?" "Nothing, it took nothing, she said okay.."
    My Spanish comes in handy sometimes.
  9. 3 older ladies talking about whether a light in the distance was a) a cruise ship, b) an oil drill, or c) a buoy. It was pitch black and you couldn't see it.
    Also, these ladies were awesome. They also talked about what they like to cook for thanksgiving dinner. One lady "I like to make a big pot pie with leftovers", another "oh that's nice, I like a good pot pie.."