If I Ever Have To Start Over in the Witness Protection Program

Inspired by @jennifer1482
  1. New name: Allison
    When I was a kid, I told my mom very seriously that she got my name wrong and it should've been Allison. My dream back then was to be called "Allie". Not sure how I feel about this now, but I figure that maybe I was right?
  2. New home: Green Bay, WI.
    Not because I actually want to live there (Wisconsin is the fucking WORST, amiright?!) but because nobody would ever find me. Green Bay is the epicenter of everything I hate: basically the Packers and the cold. Yuuuck. (Side note: if you're from WI, don't take offense, I was born and raised in MN, so this is a natural rivalry kind of feeling...)
  3. New job: the person who guards all the evidence in a police station.
    I mean, I wouldn't want to have a public job because then I'd be at risk for being recognized. So put me in a fucking basement where I get to watch Netflix on an iPad and/or read all day. And drink coffee! Sounds pretty cool.
  4. New look: girly.
    I've never been able to pull off the makeup, jewelry, high heels, skirt/blouse kind of look cause it makes me feel awkward and dumb. So dress me up and nobody will ever know it's me!
  5. New hobbies: health-conscious and athletic.
    Again, nobody would ever guess. And I'd get to get fit and look good and all that jazz! Also I like the idea that I can be all tough and fit and muscular and then still dress up all the time. I'd finally be "that girl".