MY TINY SWEET FUNNY AND LOVABLE BABY GIRL

Also known as: my 100th list 💯
  1. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant.
    I had just come home from a music festival with some of my besties.
  2. After my friends both had their periods, they asked why mine hadn't come. I wasn't worried.
  3. A week later they made me take a test. I still wasn't worried.
    When the test came back positive, I started to worry. A little. Not much. I honestly had no idea what was happening.
  4. About 4 months later I was married.
    No engagement really. Just a conversation with our parents and a decision. It was sort of exciting to plan a wedding, even though it was rushed. I didn't really care about what I was doing, because, well, I was 19 and newly pregnant and sick as hell and probably clinically depressed.
  5. When I found out I was pregnant, I found an ob by calling my clinic and asking who was the first available.
    I don't remember his name, but am still grateful that he was nice and sweet with me. He treated me with respect and would've definitely answered my questions if I had any.
  6. I was sick for basically the entirety of my pregnancy.
    Like, throwing up a few times every day sick. For probably 7 months. So much so that I had to quit my job and stay at home to "gain weight". I was a slim 105 when I got pregnant, but got down to about 92 before my doctor pulled the plug on my job. I think I made it to 120 right before I went into labor. Ah, those were the days... 🤔
  7. On April 11, 2001 I felt really sick. I felt off. I felt... Different. It was weird. I could tell that something was happening.
  8. At about 7pm that night we went to the dr. They gave me a sleeping pill and told me to go home and go to bed.
  9. I did. And boy, did I sleep. I woke up at 4 am and was STARVING. I got up to get some food (granola, to be exact), and felt weird pains.
  10. I sat down to eat my granola, and the pains kept coming. Weird, I thought, "it's like they're coming in waves"... SERIOUSLY. Though I was 20 at this point, I was clueless.
  11. About an hour later, I looked it up in my "what to expect when you're expecting" book. 😳 AWWWWWW SHIT- IM IN LABOR!!!
  12. I started timing the contractions. Uh- like 4 mins apart. Is that good? Bad? What is that?? I woke up my (now ex)husband and we left.
  13. When we got to the hospital it was about 6 am. They checked me and said that I was at the "last call for epidural" mark. I took it without thinking. For the FIRST TIME since finding out I was pregnant, I became worried.
  14. After I got the epidural I feel asleep. Also, I was really hungry and very upset that I wasn't allowed to eat.
  15. I woke up at around 9:30. They told me to was time to push. I didn't question it- I just did it.
    I say this because I now realize that it wasn't time for me to push. At all.
  16. After about an hour and a half of pushing, they told me it was "time". She was ready to be born.
  17. At this moment, I started to REALLY worry. Uh- hello? I can't have a baby. I don't WANT a baby. I'M a baby!! It was a really and TRUELY terrifying moment.
  18. So naturally I said aloud "I don't want to do this!!!"
  19. A nurse responded with "well, it's too late for that!!" In a sort of irritated and condescending way. It was insulting, but I had bigger issues on hand.
  20. My nice, reassuring doctor told me "you'll be okay". Thank God.
  21. Then, at exactly 11:11 am on April 12, 2001, my baby girl was born. I remember her being plump and pink. They laid her on my chest, and she didn't cry, she just opened her eyes and looked at me. I said "this is weird". I repeated that a few more times and then I laid my hands on her and said "hi, I love you" and I loved her.
  22. She weighed 7 pounds, 5 ounces. She was 20 inches long.
    She is the only of all of my children of whom I can remember their stats so clearly.
  23. She had a full head of black hair. Everyone said it would fall out, but it never did.
  24. Today she's 15. I love her. She's still perfect. And it's still weird.
  25. ❤️
  26. ❤️
  27. Happy birthday baby 😘