THE MOST MEMORABLE FIGHT I'VE HAD WITH MY SISTER, EXPLAINED...

  1. It was sometime during the year 1985ish.
  2. My sister had a "Thriller" tape.
    Which apparently was her prized possession at the time, I dunno...
  3. She is about 4 years older then me. So I'm like 5ish, she's like 9ish.
    We could've been 4 and 8 depending on the time of year but I digress...
  4. We were in our shared upstairs bedroom, which was basically just the top floor of our home. One giant room with 2 beds and all our stuff.
  5. We were listening to said tape.
  6. Then she turned to me and said "Maggie, I'm going to go downstairs for a minute. Whatever you do, DON'T TOUCH THE TAPE PLAYER OR MY TAPE. You got it? DON'T TOUCH ANY OF IT."
  7. Then she went downstairs.
  8. So, being the good kid that I am, and certainly the best sister I can be- I took the tape out of the cassette player. And then I saw the cool shiny film at the bottom.
  9. And then I did what any normal kid would do...
  10. 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
  11. I pulled and pulled and pulled at the tape. All of it, until it stopped. And then I looked up and saw...
  12. The rage in my sisters eyes that can only be explained as possessed.
  13. She went to grab me...
  14. And I ran! I ran in circles all around the room!!
  15. And she was chasing me as I jumped over beds and around bookshelves!!
  16. And finally, I ended up at the top of the stairs...
  17. And I thought "HA! I won!! What can she do to me now??"
  18. And friends of the li.st, I'm here to tell you...
  19. Don't ever tempt fate in this way.
  20. As I looked up at her, smug in my victory..
  21. She pushed me down the fucking stairs.
  22. And I had to go to the hospital and get stitches under my chin.
  23. And she got grounded.
  24. And I had to wind the tape back into the cassette.
  25. So we both lost that day.
  26. Some might say equally...
  27. As our "Thriller" tape never played correctly again.
  28. And that is the story behind The Thriller Tragedy of 1985.
  29. ~ fin ~